Rainbows

I think of lovers as trees, growing to and from one another. 

Searching for the same light. 

Why can't you see me? 

Why can't you see me? 

Everyone else can.

~ Beyonce Knowles / Warsan Shire

Lemonade

I went to Wales. I thought a lot about love. I thought a lot about trees and I thought a lot about the weather. I found a missing part of myself there.

I have learnt, like Rhiannon, to live my life like a bird, to be that woman taken by the wind. In order to truly be free you must face and speak your truth.  

Learning to be vulnerable, learning a new type of inner strength, putting my self deliberately into situations that make me feel exposed, but in turn set me free.

Last time I posted on this blog, I posted about love. It has been a long time and this is why. 

When storms pass, all that is left to do is to get chasing the rainbows! 

   For Storm Katie

Any ability to feel and see deeply is absolutely a blessing. A sense of knowing creates healing, you become a healer, but when it comes to love, being able to see straight through to the soul of things can find you dangerously drawn to the storms that lie within people.

Once you see light in amongst the rain clouds, it can manifest into tireless missions to create sunshine in their lives, brightly shining your light where it hurts, healing their pain, getting them to see their own silver linings.  

Once you have seen it, buried deep, even the tiniest rays, however fleeting can charm you.

The warmth, the shine you think only you can see, the mystery of why it's such a rarity, they are an enigma and you become transfixed! 

You start to enjoy the torrential down pours, you chase the thrill of their violent winds, all because you know that what follows is the calm. The beautiful clarity. 

Blue skies and any opportunity to have them light up and shine upon you. 

You end up purely living your life chasing and searching for those deep blue moments, the calm before and after their uncontrollable storms. 

You love them more than your need for protection. You love them more than you love yourself. 

When your intuition screams at you, you ignore it, you choose not to hear, because as they say love leaves you blind. 

Blinded by the light, however fleeting, you know it's there. It is buried underneath a life time of pain that you're convinced you can wash away. You want more than anything to set them free and you cling on so tightly to what you think you can see, to what you KNOW they can be. 

You get so deeply battered and damaged by the destruction their storms cause, but you make excuses. 

You take deeper roots, you build storm defences. 

You become your own pillar of strength, being strong means that you can withstand anything they throw at you, you can be there waiting, standing tall for when it eventually passes,

but you also know that deep down,

you are saturated and you are weathered!

It is only a matter of time and even the mightiest of Oaks must fall. 

One day a hurricane is sent for you ,one that it is too powerful to ignore. Blown apart, it rips you from your roots, you tumble and you split open. You are left with no choice but to look up, 

To face your truth. 

It is sent for you and you wake! 

 True strength lies always in being vulnerable, allowing yourself to be wrong, to learn your lessons. 

You learn that storms are not meant for getting lost in, you must always choose to ride them out. 

They must pass!  

If they don't, then you learn to let go of the things that are not meant for you, you let the wind take them. 

You can't and never will be able to control the weather! 

Picture taken at Farrs Meadow

Sooner or later you are going to find that place you have been looking for 

and it will pour there

and you will run beneath the rain and stretch your arms there, 

You will welcome the storm and you will feel all the things that stir inside you. 

You will be happy there. 

You will be free and you will find the inspiration to 

love again. 

~ r.m drake.